- parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
- clock: 11:01
- me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now
i want kids but i dont wanna be pregnant or give birth but i dont wanna adopt either because i want them to be mine do you see my problem
basically you want to be a fatherthis is the most accurate thing i ever read
If you think a girl is cute and awesome and really cool and genuinely like her but won’t date her because she’s chubby or fat and you don’t want people to judge you for it then please remember you’re a piece of shit okay, promise
i wish noah had swatted the two mosquitoes from his ark